Rocklahoma Pt. 2: Kum on Feel the Noize

Alright, so where were we? Oh yes, we'd just seen the sweetest mullet of all time. While we should have just left and gone home, knowing that things couldn't get any better, Wiley and I stayed the course and met back up with Mark and Julie.

Now, most of you know, but for those who don't, Wiley's a freak, and he got just a tad excited. Now, let's take a moment and celebrate The Faces of Wiley:

Oh My God, I just saw Y&T!!!!

Hmmm, who's the prettier frontman, Mark Slaughter or Bret Michaels?

If you look very closely, you can see a tear

Wiley just got Kembro'd!

This was the point I decided to share a bed with Mark.

Fuck! Is it too late to change sleeping arrangements?

Thank God, we didn't have to go to sleep at that moment. Luckily, we had Quiet Riot, Ratt and Poison to keep us entertained. And because you're probably here because you're all about the music, here are some action shots...

What a hot MILF!!!

Alright, so that was enough music for now, more drunken debauchery!

On a serious note, if you ever get a chance to roadtrip with these mofos, do it.

Oh, Rock, yes. And don't even ask me where that other hand came from.

I wish I could reveal what was happening here. But you know what they say? What happens at Rocklahoma...usually is kinda weird and hard to explain.

I believe Ratt did this to them.

I didn't realize they allowed homeless people into Rocklahoma.

I think now is a good time to take a break and tell the story of the Indian Tacos. So, Mark is like most people, when he travels, he likes to taste the local delicacies. In this case, that meant, Indian Tacos. After getting a recommendation from Julie (sorry, Sister Darkness), Mark (and Julie, actually) went and got himself an Indian Taco. On face, they looked pretty good (as far as fair/festival food goes).


Basically, it was lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, beans, taco meat, on a crispy shell. Sounds good, right? Oh, did I mention that the dough was the same exact dough they used for the funnel cakes (sold at the same stands, btw)? Yeah, so imagine eating a taco on top of a funnel cake.

From here on out, this expression shall be known as the Indian Taco Snarl (I believe every trip requires we come up with an ITS acronym).

Mark recovered quickly though thru the support of his Glam Rock life-partner Wiley

Meanwhile, Julie and I were still enjoying ourselves, despite the "music" (j/k, Wiley and Mark!!!) playing in the background

Now, I'd like to take a moment and let the rocking out commence:

I think you can tell what's going on here

He's definitely rocking out. Wait, can quinquagenarians rock out? (yeah, I pulled out quinquagenarians on you! What are you gonna do about it?)

Let the record show I was trying to touch Wiley and not Julie...wait...nevermind. Let's just move on...

Who says you can't rock down low? Btw, that corndog in the background sure looks delicious

We almost got a simultaneous 4 way Rock-Out, but once again, Mark can't be bothered to show any excitement (oh, and we'll meet Miriam in just a moment...no it wasn't some chick Wiley picked up...that wasn't until day 2).

And now, it's time for everyone's favorite game show, Whose Middle Finger Is THAT?

Is it:

A) Mark
B) Eric
C) Julie
D) Taime Downe (lead singer of Faster Pussycat, links to picture)


If you said C), you are correct!!! For those who were incorrect, good try and better luck next time. Please join us again on Whose...Middle Finger...Is...THAT?

Did I mention that Miriam, one of our co-workers got VIP tickets and got to go visit with some of the bands, trade stories with Kiss cover bands and do shots off of 45 yo dude's stomachs? (alright, most of that's not true, but she did have VIP tickets). Luckily for us, she decided to slum it and come hang out with us for a bit.

Finally, we get some class up in this joint!

Alright, so we already had class. But we needed all the help we could get.

What was I saying about class? Oh yes, two chicks at the same time (taking a photo with me, that is).

So that was Day 1 at Rocklahoma. Julie and I decided to skip out during the intermission of the Ratt Poison show (much to Julie's dismay) and headed back to camp. Apparently, Poison got a bunch of soldiers up on stage and played protest songs or something like that and CC Deville managed to stay sober long enough to play a guitar solo. Oh, and apparently, the film crew for Bret Michaels' show Rock of Love were there, so make sure to tune into VH-1 and maybe you'll see us.

Once Julie and I got back, we inflated the air mattresses and fell asleep. About an hour later, I hear some tugging at the zippers (of the tent! of the tent, I swear!), which apparently was Mark trying to get in. Sadly, in his drunken state, he was not capable of unzipping the tent, let alone anything else (don't worry Mariah!). So he just sat in a camp chair for about 45 minutes before he decided to try again. Eventually he made it in the tent and slept for about 2 hours. I must say, this was probably the best experience I've had sleeping next to a large Mexican man in at least a few years.

Good night everybody! See you for day 2!!!